Knowing your authentic self isn’t easy. For most of us, it takes years of “unlearning” what we have been taught by society, family, social norms, and traumatic experiences.
If we are fortunate enough to be in a space in our lives where we can unpack our belief systems, we can uncover parts of our “true self”.
The messages from society about who we should and shouldn’t be start YOUNG. Very young. I’m talking infant stage.
A baby is referred to as a “good boy” or a “sweet girl” and BOOM- there’s the first message. I am pretty sure I even referred to my own son this way on occasion (of course, self-corrected afterwards– I am learning!)
The messages are non-stop. Do this. Buy that. Smell like this. Act like that. Make this much money. Don’t cry. Cry. Eat less. Eat more fruit. Tone your body.
Some of the messages come from family members: parents, siblings, grandparents. These ones are perhaps the most powerful and impactful. Our children absorb these words into their body–and they stick.
In time, our own voices become a mosaic of all of the people’s in our lives- for better or worse. A lot of my clients come to me believing they are speaking their truth, only to discover that they are speaking someone else’s.
Here are a few questions for your to reflect on if you are interested in uncovering your own voice:
-What beliefs have you internalized from others?
-Which of your beliefs are you unsure about?
-Who has had the most impact on you in your life? How does their voice show up in your life/mindset?
-Do you ever feel disconnected from your own belief? Unsure about why you feel that way?
-Which of your family’s beliefs do you disagree with?
-Which of society’s beliefs have you rejected? Which have you accepted?