Whether it’s in a relationship, at work, or at home, standing in your power is a profoundly powerful skill to master. Like anything in life, it becomes easier with practice. Here are 10 simple steps:
- Be clear, specific, and concise about what is it that you need.
This is the first step and maybe the most difficult. Find out what it is you need and be clear about it when vocalizing it. “I would really like if you would acknowledge the times that I do things correctly.” This is a clear, specific, concise way to express your needs. Someone will know exactly what you mean. Leave no room for guessing!
- Set boundaries and enforce them.
Know your boundaries, set them, and enforce them. We all have our limits. For example, if you know that you aren’t willing to work more than 45 hours at work, it’s your responsibility to set those boundaries and enforce them. Be consistent and follow through with what you have set.
- Know your worth.
What is your worth? This is not just financial, although that is part of it. What do you absolutely need in a relationship and/or job? Make a list. Don’t settle for anything or anyone who doesn’t meet these necessary requirements. People will treat you the way in which you treat yourself.
- Listen and respect others.
In order to stand in your power, you have to respect other peoples’ power. Listen to others. Respect them and their boundaries. Don’t knock other people down to knock yourself up- this is only a temporary fix.
- Respond rather than react.
Take a quiet moment, think, and contemplate before responding to something. Your power is a patient force. It doesn’t require you to act immediately.
- Persist. Persist.
Your power doesn’t lessen, ever. Outside circumstances don’t define you or your power. So, when things aren’t happening immediately for you, persist. Keep at it. Continue to be your wonderful self, working hard, treating other people right.
- Stand for the right reasons.
Are you standing in your power because you believe in something or because you want to argue? Are you standing in your power for the sake of your ego or for your relationship? Are you standing in your power for the benefit of your well-being or for a short-term popularity? Stand for the right reasons—whatever they might be for you.
- Communicate with kindness.
Sometimes courage is a quiet voice inside, not a roar. We listen to people who speak kindly and with compassion. We don’t often listen to people who speak harshly, critically, and negatively. Stand in your power in a quiet, confident, and compassionate way. It works wonders!
- Be empathetic about where others are coming from.
Standing in your power doesn’t mean being rigid or closed off. It means listening to others and trying to understand where they are coming from. You can be empathetic AND stand in your power. At work, this could mean listening to your teammates’ opinions and seeing if you can support them. Standing in your power also means accommodating others when you can, when it’s helpful.
- Know when to walk away.
There are times when you have to walk away from a job, relationship, or friendship. If your power in constantly questioned, you may be feelings it. You shouldn’t have to constantly set boundaries or constantly have to enforce them. Your power should be respected, and if it’s not, consider what you may have to walk away from.